There were some lines - one specific couplet actually - that didn't go with any of the imagery, so I cut that out. Afterwards, the rest of it kind of smoothly came together.
Save for a few cadence issues when I read it aloud. Which is why I always suggest reading your poems vocally.
Ken, I absolutely love how you took your draft and pushed the metaphor. Well done 👏
Thank you, Nona! 😊
There were some lines - one specific couplet actually - that didn't go with any of the imagery, so I cut that out. Afterwards, the rest of it kind of smoothly came together.
Save for a few cadence issues when I read it aloud. Which is why I always suggest reading your poems vocally.