I walk down the center of the aisle, an outstretched candlestick in one hand and a filled trash bag in the other. The light of the flame illuminates the dark room in a haunting orange. Shadows twist and dance up the walls, turning to me with blood-thirsty grins. I avert my eyes, praying I make it to the altar.
Tears and filth stain my skin and clothes, embedded in my lungs, though I pray He doesn’t take offense. The last year had been tumultuous, my morning to dusk enveloped in dirt, mud, and sin, and I arrived here covered in it all. The trash bag weighs me down, clanging against my frame as I lug it towards the front. I inhale sharply as I kneel at the altar, putting both the candle and trash bag before me.
“I’ve come with everything. My wares, all the money I own, my yesterdays and nows, and what I could presume of my tomorrows.”
I pull at the trash bag, its contents noisily spilling out onto the floor, echoing against the cathedral walls. I clench my jaw at the sight of it all. The egregious amount of broken, metal trophies from decades past, the albums of cigarette-burned photographs, the piles and piles of red, severed ribbons, and, mixed over the top of it all, ashes of things now unrecognizable.
In the flickering candlelight, I stare at the small statue of crucified Jesus. He gazes back at me, and I fail to decipher His expression, whether it is one of understanding or resentment.
With calloused, sweaty palms, I fold my hands in prayer, pleading for my soul to not be damned. For He and whoever else to forgive and forget. After making my case, I slowly rise to my feet. I suppose I’ve said all there is to say.
I turn away, leaving all the belongings at the altar. Hopefully in the morning, they’ll be forgotten. As I trudge towards the exit, morning sunlight shines in through the windows, warming my face.
Lucas Troutt is a published poet and fiction author. He had an affinity for writing at a young age, creating several fantasy stories by exploring the various corners of his wild imagination.
He continued writing into adulthood, diving into poetry in college. In February of 2023, he published his first body of work, Up to the Surface, a poetry and prose collection addressing the most raw and vulnerable aspects of the human experience.
Troutt's writing has been praised by many for its vivid imagery and its ability to pull on all readers' heartstrings.
Instagram: @lucas.writes95